HELLO!
Check out my new bathing suit. Will I look as good as the model? HELL TO THE NAW, folks. Today, I took my bras back to Vicky's. I walked out with this suit. It's sexy folks, but on me, it's just "aight." I need to tighten up. The gold embellishments are tigers with green eyes. Indeed, I have a ghettoFABULOUS booty. My nickname for it, "Cecelicious." My booty has its own freaking ZIP CODE. How in the WORLD can someone my size have all of this booty?!?! I just returned from a cycling class at the local gym. I needed it.
Speaking of body parts, I went to Nordy's today (Nordstroms). I stand corrected - - - I am a 32 D. Woo hoo - - - as IF that is something to truly brag about. I told my Grandma, and she said, "Sh*t, girl, you ain't no da*n D cup. Your titties (a word that I SO hate) aren't that da*n big."
Yes, this is the Mickey D's grandma. Folks, she has been given the OK to drive again. Again, God is LOVE.
Back, to Nordstroms. . . the sweet saleswoman measured me. I purchased some Wacoal bras. Folks, they are AWESOME. If you are looking for a good bra, that's the one. Adrienne, also, recommended a great brand, La Mysterie, but it's for FULL BREAST womenfolks. Needless to say, I do not qualify. The saleswoman told me that they carry up to 44 I at their store. Now, y'all know that I am an inquisitive heffa. I asked to see one. GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! If David had that as his slingshot, he could kill everyone in Goliath's NATION. Her co-worker said a woman came in there w/32 M breasts. WTF?!?!?!?!? WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!? And no, they weren't implants!! Those girls were au naturelle.
Basically, that's the size of your head attached to your chest. That's what they told me.
She was folding some beautiful Wacoal underwear. I said, "Who is wearing that right now? It's too hot for anything but COTTON." She agreed. Folks, cotton is the fabric of our LIVES in AZ. If you are a female AZ resident, and your booty is wearing something other than cotton right now, you are asking to be the woman on the beach with her mom for the 21st century Massengill commercial AS WELL as Kim Alexis' sidekick on her MONISTAT commercials. A friend informed me that she only wears satin. I said, "Hell, your clothes are doing the Soul Train line- up to the washer machine. Doot-doot-doo-da-doot ("Soul Train theme song)."
Okay, I am off my soapbox.
On to political WTFs - - - What y'all think about the aid that the Midwesterners are receiving for flooding? Uh, Katrina was three years ago. Is it me, or are these people getting more aid than the Katrina folks? Money is one of the main forces (their are others) behind that help. The Midwest equals FOOD folks. The price of corn and everyTHANG else is about to go up.
My Country Tis of Thee. Sweet land of GREED.
FYI - -- Vicky's is being sued for a thong injury. . . As my late grandmother would have said, "That's what her fast-a** gets for trying to look cute."
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,368206,00.html
Peace.
