"Carrie Bradshaw, the love of my life. . . "

You've guessed correctly! Last night, I was one of thousands of women who hurried to the theater to see "Sex and the City: The Movie". Although the film was oh so predictable, it was grrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!!!!!!! I won't spoil the film by discussing all the minute details; however, I will say this, I LUV me some Chris Noth. I've luved that man since he first starred on "Law and Order". That was over 17 years ago (uh, where has the time gone)!!! Carrie and the girls were wonderful. I see myself in all of them:

Carrie: The free spirit. She's been "lookin' for love," but over the years, has looked in "all the wrong places".

Charlotte: She wants a "perfect" existence - -- pristine home, a family, a wonderful husband

Miranda: A workaholic that once she gets into her "groove" shuts out the outside world until she accomplishes her goal.

Samantha: A straight up HO and loves being called one. Although I am far from being a HO, I dig Samantha. She dates like a man, and I have learned to do this. If I don't feel that "click," I am no longer timid about letting you know that. If I hurt your feelings, just think how hard it was for me to tell you how I felt? In addition, I am SURE at this point in your life, you are only upset because I have hit a NERVE. Life is too short, and if I would get more passion from kissing a dead fish than you, I'ma let you know (but in a nicer manner).

Speaking of dead fish, society always knocks women for lip enhancers. Men really need to consider getting them. Do you know how odd it is kissing a man with NO lips when you have full lips?!?!!?!?!?? The baby down below has fuller lips than the last clown that I met.

My favorite line in the film, "When Big colors, he colors all outside the lines". HA!!!!!

I still have hope that I will find "the love of my life". I had a long conversation with a girlfriend. She said, "Cee, you're getting older. Men will all of these bs-a$$ problems that you are finding are going to be more and more. You're either going to have to deal with those issues or continue searching".

I'm going to continue searching. I'll be 34 years old in September. I don't have any babies, and to be honest, I don't want to date men with children (i.e. those under 18). I cannot relate. I just can't. Call me selfish, but I want 100% of my man's attention; I want to be first, and if he has a child, quite naturally his son/daughter will be #1. A former male acquaintance said that I put myself into a "box". I have enuf drama going on with work. I do not want it in my personal life due to baby-momma drama and an ex wife.

Yesterday, while looking for something in my jewelry box, I came across this folded picture of my dream wedding gown. It kinda choked me up becuz I put that picture in there nearly 5 years ago. YIKES. Back then, I was hoping that I would be in it within the next 1-2 years. I started to throw it out, but a little voice told me, "Keep it".


Today, I am going house shopping. I'll keep y'all posted!

A New Realtor

Today, I made an appointment to meet my NEW realtor. I have to thank my mom for the introduction. Although I told her to let me try and find a decent realtor four months ago, she still took it upon herself to ask local realtors 1001 questions. That's how I have become acquainted with my NEW realtor. We are going to meet, have breakfast, and look at some properties in my price range. My mom still sees me as the little girl that needs her hand held. That's why I thought that this was the PERFECT photo. In many ways, she's right. Mothers do know best. She kinda figured that someone would try and take advantage of me; thus, she had someone on the backburner for me. Thanks, Mom!

I would be remiss if I didn't inform you about the following - - - in regards to Reverend NUTCASE Realtor, I did end up having the last laugh. I cannot get into specifics here, but let's just say that she got just desserts. I know that might not be Christian; I strive for a Christian existence, although I pretty much figure that I'm in the running to be a line leader to Hell.

I got my hair cut. My hairstylist has moved. I could have CRIED. The shop was right darn near the house. He and the owner of the salon are WAY freaking far now. Then again, I will travel to Hell and back to get my hair cut by "The Man". He's been styling my hair since 2000. He moved to AZ before me, and as soon as I got here, I looked him up. My head looks SO much better. Now, I no longer look like Chia Pet. "Chi-Chi-Chi CHIA." Y'all remember the commercial.

Make SURE that you check out Miz Lu's site: http://candidartanddesign.com/artslam/ She is a BAD poetry goddess. I am so thankful that she "visited" my spot. I've been a fan of Miz Lu's beautiful artwork since I first saw her featured in a scrapbooking magazine. Oh, if I only had 1 minute bit of her talent!

Are you ready to see "Sex and the City"?!?!?!?!?

NO DICE

Where do I begin? This was the home that I had placed a bid on. This is also the residence that I said NO to. That's right - - -today, I canceled my offer. The sellers refused to move the A/C unit as well as repair a broken window. In short, they gave up TWO HUNDRED AND TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS over a measly $1000 repair. Some folks are TOUCHED. Stupid idiots. They came down $33K on this property because no one was interested. I was an interested party, and they said NO over a $1K repair.

For the past few months, I have been asking God to order my steps. If this is where he wanted me to rest my feet, things would have gone smoothly; I've been fighting the sellers and their simple-minded agent since Day One. They can KEEP it. $212K is a lot of $$$ to spend on a residence that may have potential problems. I am not into buying fixer-uppers. Things need to be "in order" when I close. I don't have $3-5K to replace an air conditioner. Considering how much the unit has to work in order to keep this place cool, it would be inevitable.

Today, I also fired my realtor. Needless to say, she was in shock. Her assistant wanted to know why I no longer needed their services. I said, "This deal has taught me a lot. Although the seller's agent is a freaking NUTCASE, she sought the best for her client; I needed my agent to be as aggressive, but in a more logical way; you weren't. This deal was my determining factor in remaining with your business. You've continuously encouraged me to bid up 6% rather than try and bid 20% below the asking price. Although I am new to all of this, I have parents and friends with EXCELLENT common sense. They want my best interest at heart, and they've reached a consensus regarding this residence and your services - - - run."

Of course, my realtor was supposed to call me; what do I receive? - an EMAIL. LOL. She realized that I wasn't BOO BOO the FOOL, and thus sent me an email. In addition, what's the sense in talking to someone who is walking out the door with your money?!?!?

I would be remiss if I didn't inform you how I went after the seller's agent. I called the National Association of Realtors as well as another group that AZ realtors have to report to. I also called that chick's boss. Do you know that he had the audacity to laugh @ my situation??? When I informed him that I was contacting these associations, he said, "What do you think that they are going to do?" Uh, I guess that I will be using my title tomorrow AM and making some more calls. I left some messages today, and I hope that they call me back in the AM. Here's the cherry on the cake - - -the seller's agent is a MINISTER. I informed the company that she works for of the following, "I read on her website that she's a minister. It's a good thing that I am already a Christian, because she couldn't even ATTEMPT to introduce me to Jesus. It is apparent that we don't serve the same God." I'm thinking, "Where did she get her minister's license - from a Cracker's Jack box?!?!?!?!"


I heard dead silence. Now, you know when someone wants to laugh, but they know that someone might be monitoring their calls.

I have selected another realtor. Mom has been talking to him for the past couple of months. I am having him show me some properties in this same community.

When I send out those cheesy, "This is my new home" photo cards from Walgreens, you know the FIRST two individuals who will receive one!

If you are searching for a home, be prayerful and SMART. If you pick up a vibe that your realtor is a shark, get OUT of the way. Do not sign any forms that force you to work with the realtor when you are ready to "jump ship" (i.e. exclusionary forms). EDUCATE yourself about the real estate market. Otherwise, these individuals will use you in order to pay for their children's private school tuition.

Indeed, Ahwatukee has some SPECIAL residents. I live here, and I do declare that I've never met so many strange folks in all my days!

Do I look like BOO BOO the FOOL?!?!!?

Get ready, folks. You are going to be on the FLO' as soon as you finish reading this post. Let me start off on a positive note - - - see this little guy to the left? I spent this morning watching his sweet chunkiness. Ms. A., my fellow photographer, I used the Canon 50mm/f1.8 lens. Whatcha' think? Although I enjoyed my time with my sweet boy, I am NOT ready to exchange my Coach Signature bag for a Coach diaper bag. "HELL TO THE NAW, BOBBY! HELL TO THE NAW!" (a phrase made ever so famous by our beloved, Whitney Houston on Bobby's show, "Being Bobby Brown"). If you haven't watched that CRAZY mess, I am sure that you can get Season One on bootleg at your local Safeway in the 'hood (i.e. South or Central Phoenix).

Things were going splendid until the baby let out a loud grunt. I'm a non-mommy, but I knew what was going on in those britches. I grabbed him and changed his diaper. Okay, they need to make some kind of restraint that when you have a wiggly baby, you can tie them down, especially when it's a bad diaper. I got him cleaned up and he was content for the remainder of my time with him.

I love babies, but it's not my TIME. I question if it will ever be my time. I am extremely maternal; however, that's a whole lot of work. It most definitely is NOT my time because I keep meeting CLOWNS. Here's the list of idiots since June 2005 (my arrival to Chez Valley); I either dated or was infatuated by them:

* Mr. Nutcase -- - I don't trust women because my grandmother and mother are manipulative (CHILD, my doctorate is not in Clinical Psychology). Moving right along .. .

* Mr. Knight in Shining Armor - - - I so need to be doing better than the women that I date. It helps stroke my ego. If a damsel is in distress, I am THERE for her until she gets her stuff together and starts doing better than ME. Once I find out that, I'm off to find another woman who has either lost a job, or is in a dead-end job with a Bebe or two (FOOL, PLEASE. That Robin Hood stuff is for the fairy tales, not real life. Evidently, you've forgotten those "I bring home the bacon" commercials from the 1970s).

* Mr. Couch Potato - - - Enuf said.

* Mr. "I Fault Moms for everything because she was a straight up HO". DELIVER ME. You've been out your Moms home far longer than you were in it. Get some help, or take down those cornrows; evidently those braids are cutting off circulation. I am not Flo Nightingale. Moving right along. . .

* Mr. "I have a stick in my booty. You hurt my feelings for saying that I am uptight." - - - Once again, enuf said.


Whew! Can you tell what I went to school for? I do have a knack for sentence structure and word usage. LOL.

NOW, here's the real drama that occurred today:

* I am trying to purchase a home.
* The sellers refuse to move the air conditioning unit away from the wall and replace a window.
* I informed my agent's assistant that if they don't repair, then give me my earnest $$$ back because I am SIK (not a typo) of these folks. Evidently, their broke selves aren't THAT broke if they elect to back out of this deal. As my grandfather once said, "Beggars cain't be CHOICIFIED" (quit your dang laughing; he was born in 1912).
* The seller's agent said NO. That crazy HEFFA had the nerve to call my inspector and blast him out for how she was going to lose the deal, etc. . . FREAKING NUTCASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* I backed out of the deal.
* My agent called and pleaded with me to let her work her mojo.
* I find out tomorrow.


:Drumroll: DO I LOOK LIKE BOO BOO THE FOOL?!???????????????????????

Jesus doesn't keep me near the cross; He keeps me NAILED on it. Folks, that's why it's important to keep God at the center of your life.

Now, get your booty up off the floor and SET back down in your chair! ;)

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!

Happy Memorial Day! I hope that you enjoyed your holiday and remembered our fallen veterans. Before I start my anti-Bush spiell, I'll just do what my co-worker says, "Moving right along. . ." That same co-worker took me out to breakfast this AM. Although he wears my LAST nerve (not a typo), I do enjoy his company, because I am guaranteed a deep, hearty laugh or two. Needless to say, he didn't disappoint. He's so bad that I made sure that we sat in a secluded area, because I knew that he would show-out (which he did). After we left Mimi's, we went furniture shopping @ Ashley's. If everything continues to work in my favor, and I do close on my house, this is the furniture that I desire. I've been wanting this living room set since the moment that I saw it. Ditto for the dining room furniture. :Drumroll: Where am I going to get the $$$ for this stuff???? I don't have a boyfriend by the name of "Pimp Daddy" (although above co-worker has already put in his application). Mom wants me to continue looking; however, if I keep looking, I'm going to end up at Thomasville, and I CAIN'T afford their furniture. I have Cristal taste but a Boone's Farm budget.

Sigh.

Our next stop was Best Buy (where this photo was taken). I am through trying to help this man find his Nikon Coolpix camera. How in the world are you going to go camera shopping and don't know the complete name of the model that you want?!?!?! I was ready to slap his country-self back down South. After I got home, he called and wanted me to look up the information on Costco's website. His special education students have more sense than he does.

Speaking of special education, my family is *SPECIAL*. Today, Mom called and informed me that she was taking my grandmother for a walk. They were going to walk past the hospital, but my grandmother was adament about not going near it. I'm like, "Do you think that the automatic doors are going to suck you in and fly you across the room and into a bed? Relax." Grandma headed home, and she proceeded to tell my mother that if she persisted, she was going to take her cane and beat her a$$.

And, they think that the elderly don't have a sense of humor. Grandma has been through a lot with her open heart surgeries (since January). I am glad that she has come such a long way. For those who don't believe in God, my grandmother is a true testament for His existence.

LIVING ROOM and DINING ROOM FURNITURE:

There's no place like home . .

NOT. I am so ready to move out of my apartment. Don't get me wrong - - -I am most definitely glad to have a "roof over my head"; however, I am tired of this smelly dog park that my apartment is adjacent to. I don't dig dogs. Period. I don't dig BIG-ass dogs - -- dogs as tall as ME. I don't know how my neighbors can afford our rent, food for themselves and the beasts that they call their household pet. Deliver me. I live in a 1BDR. Many of my neighbors live in the same model, AND they manage to have a MASTIF living with them. Correction - two MASTIFS. You know that this is a WTF?!?!?! ism. I'm not a pet owner; therefore, maybe I just don't get the "I will live in small quarters and do without rather than getting rid of my beloved Alpo." Personally, it's animal cruelty to have a 130lb dog stuck in a small apt. all day long (minus 2-3 walks per day).

I have the *luxury* of having my apt. face our complex's dog park. I HATE it. Don't let these dogs start barking @ 10pm (and I need to be up at 5am). I used to bang on my bedroom window as if I lived in the projects. Do you know that I woke up one morning and some fool shot a BB gun through my window??? I thought that someone threw a rock @ the window. I had the window repaired, and that's when the servicemen informed me that the crack was from a BB gun.

And, this is Ahwatukee?!?!??!!

Deliver me.

See the white foam around the patio door - - - that's to keep the scorpions out. Does it really work? NOT.

If I clicked my heels three times, would I end up in a new home?

Fiction is bogus.

CELEBRATION TIME! COME ON!!!!

SUMMERTIME IS HERE!!! That's right - - -school is out until August. As I left work yesterday, I could not help but thank God for his goodness. It is extremely difficult being a high school teacher, especially to an audience of students who feel as if their future is bleak. I spent nearly the entire first part of the academic year attempting to boost my students' confidence. That was nearly a job and a half in itself. The Spring semester was somewhat easier, but by February, I was about to pass out from exhaustion.

One of the nicest compliments that I received came from a substitute teacher. When I returned from Indiana, I noticed that my sub. had left some comments on my lesson plan. She said, "These students have great manners. Where did they get them from? You?" I thought that I was going to cry. She was right - - - my students did have manners (FINALLY)!!! Either that, or they knew that I would clown them upon my return. Seriously, I have noticed a tremendous change. It was as if they had listened to Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" and opted to "make that change".

I was especially touched by one of the students. One student in particular, Mr. A., informed me that no one thought that he would ever graduate from high school. He mentioned that individuals had been saying this about him since he was in 3rd grade. I made it my business to track him down @ graduation. I immediately thought of the gospel song, "I'm Still Holding On":

Some said I wouldn't make it
Some said I wouldn't be here today
Some said I wouldn't amount to anything
But I am glad to say
That I am on my way
And, I am here to stay

Yesterday, I couldn't help but cry as I left work. An administrator thought that I was crying over not seeing her - - - NOT (although I have nothing against her whatsoever). I was crying because I had been through SO much during the 2007-2008 academic year, and I was glad that I had SURVIVED. I was crying because it was Dr. KC's last day at the g-i-g. I couldn't have asked for a better team teacher:

KC was an EXCELLENT mentor to me. He kept me sane when I was ready to jump off our building. He kept me together when I ready to open up a can of whup-ass on some of our colleagues. Whew! The list goes on. KC had me in stitches. I laughed so much around him that if it's true that one burns calories through laughter, I should look as if I am sucking on a straw. My favorite KC line - - - "Oh, so you plan on calling your Mama and your Daddy and having them come to the school? Great, call them both and tell them to bring a lunch with them."


There's another wonderful person that is leaving the gig - - - ATTY. GC (that's right - - - she's an attorney, and she has done a GOOD job keeping that on the DL). WHERE do I begin my discussion about G? She has been another mentor/friend. G. is moving to CA to be with her fiance. I am so happy for her!!!! I do hope that if G. doesn't find a high school teaching position right away, that she would consider educational law. G. would be the PERFECT advocate for our children. She has a big heart, and we need more political advocates (particularly DEMOCRATS) in this area. Therefore, G., consider what I've said. You would be WONDERFUL. If I could turn back time, I would have gone into law; however, we KNOW that I AM NEVER GOING BACK TO SCHOOL TO PURSUE ANOTHER PROFESSIONAL DEGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Readers, you can take that to the bank "fo' sho'".