FOR KIRA AND MARK

Two years ago, my sweet friends, Kira and Mark C. urged me to leave this one fool alone. Mark said, "Tell C. to keep driving (figuratively speaking, because you know that I cain't SEE) and don't look back."

Did I take their advice? NO.

Am I taking their advice now? YES.

I met a man two years ago via eharmony. Y'all know that I am ghetto, and I wasn't paying for love. They had a free communication weekend, and I included my email address (which led to eharmony initially restricting my acct. for communicating outside of the eharmony forum). He has treated me like a poop on and off for the past 2 years. Last week, he volunteered to take me to my retinal specialist appt. I hate that appt. moreso than my annual gynecologist exam (which I had last week and hurt like HELL). I had retinal surgery 19 years ago. I have one small hole on my left retina, and I never want it to get bigger. Period.

He VOLUNTEERED to take me. I IMed him on Wednesday to remind him (which he now claims that he didn't receive the message when it showed that he logged off, and those messages will pop on even if you are not logged on - yahoo messenger). I took the bus to Mesa, and after my appt., I couldn't see ANYTHING but large items; I had my pupils dilated. I called him, and got no answer. I left him a message informing him to consider me non-existent. I couldn't see JACK, but I managed to text him an irate message on my Blackberry.

I had to call my Somalian cab driver who hightailed it over to Mesa to pick me up (Yes, I have his # in my cell phone address book). I had no problems taking the bus there; it was seeing to leave. I couldn't even read a cross walk, and I had on shades and those fake shades that the doctor's office gives you.

My phone died while out, and I didn't get clown's message until yesterday evening:

* He went off on me about not reminding him.
* He said that I needed to effing learn how to drive and that his nearly blind friend still drives (SCARY)
* I have all of these degrees, but cannot manage to find one decent paying job
* I will live in my apt. for the next 20 years, and I should go ahead and buy it.

I got LOW back, and I asked God for forgiveness

I said:

* My handicap is not funny
* I have seen my parents cry over my vision
* My bad nerves also contribute to me not driving, and you should be GLAD that is one less reckless driver on the road
* You talk about me not seeing? How would you feel if someone called your sister a barren bitch?
* I may not make as much $$$ as you, but I am employed.
* You feel threatened by my title, even though it doesn't come with your salary. Otherwise, you wouldn't have kept repeating my name/title in the message.
* I didn't realize your insecurity over it considering that you are about $100K plus in salary.
* You talk about how I handle real situations - my grandmother nearly died and my mom nearly lost it; my kids come to home starved from the weekends becuz they have NO food at home and depend on our free breakfast/lunch program
* I've got kids telling me that their relatives choked them with extension cords STILL plugged into the walls and how they are in CPS and the relatives are now locked up. These are REAL situations. I could care less that you didn't pick me up. You talked about something that I cannot help - my vision, and that's LOW. I told him that if he was going to talk about me, take his ass to Weight Watchers, especially since he makes SO much $$$, and lose his GUT. Y'all know that I used to be fat; therefore, I can still talk about big folks, becuz I still have my big folks membership card.
* I stated that I had a premonition earlier this week that he was going to lose his almighty engineering job. I told him to get ready to see how it feels to have NO job. I stated that I wouldn't have had so much difficulty finding a JOB if folks didn't feel so threatened @ the jobs that they didn't want me GONE becuz I had more education than them.
* I can afford a home; I just won't buy a house that is not worth the asking price. I have a new realtor, and on Thursday, I went looking yet again. The realtor came and picked me up and din't say a damn thing about having to do so after I stated that I don't drive. I stated that he lived in a glorified trailer that has NO furniture and needs some serious work to it. He has a home, but he has done nothing to it.

I woke up this morning, and I texted him something mean. I know that it wasn't right, but I am just livid and hurt. He stated that I should call him instead. I told his punk-ass that I don't call folks who have TOLD me that they like to community moreso online or texting. I also stated that he wasn't man enough to tell me anything that he put in those messages to my FACE.

He said that I need to grow up, especially since I teach kids. I went to TOWN on him about what I deal with on a daily basis with my kids and their non-existent finances and lack of food and how I have to handle these situations. I told him that his ass COULD be like these kids, and at the rate that he's going, he'll be eating ramen noodles on a daily basis, or beans, rice, and fideo EVERY day for dinner. I stated that this economy is FUBARED and NO ONE should laugh at ANYONE for right now about work, their salary, etc. . .

Kira and Mark, I have learned my lesson, and I am DONE. I apologize for being so hardheaded.

Love ya!